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An Ode to Inventive Headlines

Sarah Nimmo

In today’s tumultuous times of political upheaval and uncertainty, it seems fair to say that light relief is not often found within the arenas of government or politics. The UK Government’s Insolvency Service however, seems to be doing its level best to utilise the pun to make a little headline fun. To avoid anyone being left out in the cold, like the disqualified ice cream director, we have brought together some of our favourites to share with you…

While the ban of a jewellery seller demonstrated that diamonds aren’t forever,

And a directorship ban gave a school meals supplier some food for thought,

For a disqualified day nursery director it was no child’s play, not now or ever.

While the brakes were slammed on a Bangor car dealership scam,

And Highways England had a bright idea for motorway lighting in Yorkshire,

All bets were off for a gambling company director served with a lengthy ban.

Just as a sour taste was left by directors’ conduct in a fine wines investment scam,

A pizza company director was told to take away a seven-year disqualification

Just like the demolition company directors buried under a seven-year ban.

Then the world’s longest coastal path came a step closer,

And restaurant directors were disqualified for cooking the books,

While Highways England did its V best for festival goers.

‘A bitter pill to swallow’ said the courts in regard to a vitamin scam,

Then the music stopped for a Deep Purple copyright company director,

As was the fate of the furniture director shelved with a six-year ban.

Three…Two…One…Blast Off! was called as the DSTL launched a £50m space programme,

But it was the end of the road for a haulage company director

And development was halted for a property director with an 11 year ban.

Then just as the green light was given for driving lessons on motorways,

The page closed on company that misled businesses to advertise in magazines.

But for the north east fish survey it truly was Happy Daze.

Sadly though, just as the curtains came down for a disqualified marquee director

And the end credits rolled for two fraudulent film investment companies,

We too must end our fun with the Insolvency Service pun.

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